


My Roommate is a Vampire

by havocthecat



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Gen, Humor, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In her sophomore year, Beca is leading the Barden Bellas and rooming with Fat Amy, who is claiming to be a vampire.  Um, what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Roommate is a Vampire

It was too early to hold auditions. The extracurricular booths weren't even up on the quad yet, but the Bellas had moved in and started rehearsing early. Just because Aubrey wasn't there to keep them on last year's brutal schedule didn't mean Beca was going to slack off on the practice. Though maybe they wouldn't need so much cardio this year.

She had a clipboard and a binder full of notes about each Bella's vocal capabilities and personalities, because even if Aubrey had given up the pitch pipe, there was no one who could keep them organized and on track like she could. So maybe Beca hadn't ended the year hating Aubrey, and maybe she had Aubrey and Chloe's numbers programmed into her phone for back-up, advice, and middle of the night aca-talk. 

Beca hated herself a little bit for using the word aca-talk, even if she never said it out loud.

There was no way in hell Beca could keep up the no dating Treblemakers rule. Even if she and Jesse weren't a couple, Donald and Lilly were hanging out all the time. Beca was thinking they might do a joint performance together in the spring, just for bygones to be bygones. Or because they could make amazing music together. Whatever. The point was, this year was going to be different. They were totally keeping Aubrey's flow charts as a reminder of how nuts last year got, though. 

Right. Meeting. Beca tuned back into the conversation just in time for Fat Amy to chime in. 

"I could mesmerize the judges into giving us the title this year using my vampire powers," said Fat Amy, going cross-eyed and making what were presumably hypnotic gestures at Stacie's eyes, "but that'd kind of be cheating."

Ooo-kay. Just because everything else had changed, apparently that didn't mean Fat Amy was going to start telling the truth.

"No cheating," said Beca with a firm nod, and definitely not laughing. If any of them were vampires, it would be Lilly, and she was too much of a pyro for that. "We're going to win this because we're the best."

"Not because the second in command of the Bellas is a vampire," said Fat Amy. She wrinkled her nose. "I probably shouldn't have told you that."

"You're not second in command of the Bellas!" exclaimed Beca. She was ignoring the whole vampire thing, because did vampires even exist in Australia? Not that they existed anywhere. Not that it mattered. If anyone was going to be backing Beca up, it was Cynthia Rose.

"Well, we're roommates, and I haven't drank your blood in my sleep or anything, so that makes me second in command," said Fat Amy. She pointed at Beca and grinned. "You're one step up the food chain from my freshman roommate, so you should remember that."

"What did happen to Fat Amy's freshman roommate anyway?" asked Stacie. 

"Anemia," said Lilly, her eyes wide. Not with fear, but with fascination, and Beca sometimes wondered if Lilly had been voted 'most likely to be a serial killer' at her high school. But she was a little afraid to find out. 

"Yeah, I didn't mean to do that, but she was type O, and they're super delicious," explained Fat Amy. "But don't worry! Nobody here is type O. I mean, Jessica is AB, and they're almost as good, but I can control myself better around them."

"Shouldn't we, I don't know, start singing?" asked Cynthia Rose. "So we can be the best and not try to win with Fat Amy's vampire hypnosis."

"Right," said Beca, shaking herself just a little. She'd almost started believing Fat Amy. She'd sounded pretty convincing, but vampires weren't real, and they had a Halloween performance to get ready for.

***

After rehearsal, Beca slumped down in the DJ booth at the radio station and flipped through Aubrey's binder. At the bottom of Fat Amy's entry, which had been typed in Times New Roman and carefully annotated with footnotes that Beca thought no one used unless their professor made them, Aubrey had written "Vampire!" using bright red ink, in all caps and with an exclamation point. 

"No, seriously" was also written there, this time in purple and in Chloe's handwriting. No one in the Bellas used purple ink but Chloe. 

What the hell? Did they arrange some kind of Bella hazing ritual for Beca to start the year off with? They must have, because it wasn't like the theme of this year's Halloween mixer hadn't been announced last year, when Aubrey was busy planning it. Because she somehow had found time to do all of that even with Bellas rehearsal and a senior honors thesis.

"Okay, fine," muttered Beca. She turned the page and corners of her eyes narrowed as she looked at the entry Aubrey had made about her. 'Doesn't care if it's not her idea.' "Whatever."

Beca hadn't meant to pay attention to Aubrey's notes, because Aubrey was crazy insane about the Bellas. She flow-charted everything, including a guide for her to work with Lilly on breath control and Fat Amy on pitch control. And Stacey on libido control, and, damn, Aubrey had thought Cynthia Rose was almost perfect and didn't need flow charts. 

So Beca and Aubrey agreed on one thing, at least. 

Beca chuckled a little to herself. 

Except Aubrey did have a good ear, and she'd paid a lot more attention to the Bella's capabilities last year than Beca ever had. 

So what if Fat Amy really was a vampire?

Beca laughed nervously to herself, closed Aubrey's binder, and turned off the lights. When she woke up in the morning, Fat Amy's bed hadn't been slept in. She came back from her first class, all the curtains were closed and Fat Amy was sprawled on top of her bed, snoring like a freight train and she should really do something about getting that deviated septum fixed. _After_ competition season.

The next morning, Beca woke up with Amy hovering over her, looking hungry and licking her lips. "Hey!" shouted Beca, scrambling away until she bumped into the wall.

"Sorry, sorry," said Fat Amy, backing up nervously. "I didn't get my daily ration of A-positive last night. I'm just a little peckish."

"I think I'm going to switch rooms," said Beca slowly. Putting up with Stacie's neverending carousel of sex partners would be better than this. "Like, today. Do you think you should maybe get a single?"

"Yeah, no," said Fat Amy slowly. "But I would like my backup meal plan not to be a friend. Does this mean I'm off the Bellas?"

"God, no," said Beca. "But no eating acapella singers. Not even the Treblemakers! Unless Bumper comes back and is a jerk again, okay?" Which he wouldn't, and even still, Beca was pretty sure Fat Amy wasn't a real vampire and she was probably sleeping with Bumper all last year anyway, so it wasn't like she'd hurt him. Probably not. Unless Bumper liked it? Did he?

Beca shook her head to get the thought out, because that was too horrifying to contemplate.

"Okay!" said Fat Amy brightly. "Can I just have a little bite before you move out, though? Dining Services won't let me in any more. They caught me snacking on the other students one too many times and hung garlic everywhere." She made air quotes. "For decoration."

"No!" exclaimed Beca. "God, what are you on?"

 

\--end--


End file.
